“You Don’t Have A Money Problem, You Have An Asking Problem!”

asking problemSo said my new coach in an intensely emotional stand-off with a participant at this weekend’s event. The unfortunate woman was emotionally and financially bankrupt. She had lost a lawsuit, owing over 6 figures in damages. She had to shatter her daughter’s dreams to enter an Ivy League college in the fall. All her many advisors and lawyers were telling her to sell off her beautiful home in the Hamptons. Although a successful coach, she couldn’t see where she could get that enormous amount of money in such a short time.

When I pick coaches, I pick people who will tell you the truth no matter what. So here’s what my new coach told this woman and it was SO exactly the same truth for myself, my clients or for any business owner out there who wants to earn more money that I had to share it with you.

He said “You don’t have a money problem. You have an asking problem. If you had called every single person on your list and told them that you could change their lives if they paid you $100K, consistently and through time, you wouldn’t be in this situation. In fact, you could go home right now and do what I said and pay off this debt and send your daughter to an Ivy League school. It’s because you have an ASKING problem that you’re not doing this“.

Wow, I was really stopped in my tracks. How true is this for all of us? Naturally, this led me to ask (no pun intended) the question: Why do we have an ASK problem?

Here are a few hints:

1. You’re conditioned to think it’s rude/wrong/pushy/looks bad to ask for anything. Yup, it happened when you were a kid while your parents and society and your environment (unless you grew up with Donald Trump) taught you this. In fact, you were called greedy and possibly punished for asking too much. Well, you’re an adult now and you’re reading this so isn’t it time to push yourself out of this state of being?

2. You don’t know how. How exactly are you supposed to ask people for a sale? Do you pick up the phone, do you email, do you write a love letter for God’s sake? And what do you say if you do any of these things? You can’t just walk up to someone and ask them to work with you, right? Even as forthright as I am, I would first recommend an invitation to find out more about each others’ businesses and see if anything you hear can indicate a need for your services. If they’re open to hearing about it and if they’re in enough pain, then you can ask how you can help.

3. You don’t know who to ask. Even if you could get over the beast of the first obstacle of your conditioning and you knew what to say, who do you target for this new asking thing? Well, how about people in your target group you’ve met in the past? How about people you’ve already worked with in the past? How about people in your target who are networking at some function right now? All you need is a focused target group and off you go.

So if you’re like the rest of us who have a money problem in that you want more than what you have, then now you have the awareness that it’s actually an asking problem. Now, go get over it and make your money problems disappear.

Need more chicken soup for your biz? Follow me on Twitter, friend me on Facebook, watch me on YouTube or connect with me on LinkedIn –and let’s talk

And The Sad % Of People Who Keep New Year’s Resolutions Are…

NewYearsResolutions-funnyHappy New Year everyone! I wanted to greet you with a scary statistic..call me strange…Only 19% of people who make new year’s resolutions keep them for one whole year. Here are the other numbers according to the Toronto Star article:

19%: Less than 24 hours

15%: One week

52%: One month

19%: The whole year

As a small business coach and as an entrepreneur, unfortunately I see this all too often. Some clients start the program with a bang and finish with a whimper. Friends who vow to save the Timmy’s coffee money for a vacation are carrying trays of the brown stuff to work in a few weeks. Small business owners I meet while networking who vow to spend more time marketing this year, still get sucked into working more in the business than on it. It truly is sad to see.

Why is this happening? I came up with a few theories of my own on this one:

1. Nobody Is Really Holding You Accountable

Even for those who’ve announced their intentions to the world (remember Rob Ford’s weight loss promise) there’s no real New Year’s Resolution Police who’s going to drag you to the Broken Resolutions Jail. So who cares if a few people ask you about it, nothing really changes in your life if you don’t follow through.

2. You’re Not In Enough Pain To Change

Unfortunately humans don’t change unless they are in deep pain. Most of the time. It’s either a divorce, the loss of a huge client or a heart attack that makes people take real stock and attempt to change. Even then, studies show that most people can’t stick with the changes. When there isn’t enough pain, there’s no gain.

3. Your Body Is Ruling Your Mind

According to neuroscientist Dr.Joe Dispenza, our bodies are chemically dependent on the same thoughts we’ve been thinking (and those thoughts produce hormones and chemicals that translate to feelings) since the day we were born. So to simply start thinking different thoughts is pretty difficult.

What’s a Person To Do?

So how do the people who do keep their resolutions for the whole year differ? They usually have an accountability partner, a plan of action that’s committed and a structure that allows them not to slide back into previous behaviour. For example, in 2013 when I committed to losing weight, I signed on with Weight Watchers. Their weekly meetings and especially the scary weigh-ins kept me on track. Similarly, when I decided to grow my business exponentially, I spent an enormous sum to hire a top-level coach. I haven’t looked back since!

What are you going to do differently to make sure you’re not a sad New Year’s Resolution Statistic?

Need more chicken soup for your biz? Follow me on Twitter, friend me on Facebook, watch me on YouTube or connect with me on LinkedIn –and let’s talk


Stop Hiding Behind False Ethics Because You’re Uncomfortable

hidingI spent a day with the Sales Master James MacNeil this weekend and what he said resounded so well with my own thoughts that I can’t stop quoting him to my clients.

Here’s the story:

James was training bank tellers who were on the verge of quitting. These people resented being turned into sales reps by their bank who was rolling out giant and uncomfortable selling initiatives for their front line staff. Prior to the training, James was told he could not change the tellers’ minds about selling. He disagreed and challenged them to a test.

Selling versus Serving

The reason why the tellers were up in arms in the first place was because they considered themselves people who were interested in Serving as opposed to being like people in the Sales Department who were interested in Taking. This delineation in their mind was sorely challenged when they admitted to James that almost with every client, they noticed when funds were being mishandled. Time after time, instances would come up where the tellers could have stepped in to introduce a product or a service to help but didn’t because–are you ready?–they weren’t in SALES.

I’m Not Sales-y

When the mere word of Sales conjures pictures of the devil in your mind and equates to taking something away from people rather than helping them, you will naturally refuse to sell. It’s that simple. What James said to the tellers at that point was very powerful. He said: Stop hiding behind the false ethic that Selling is Bad, simply because you’re uncomfortable with it and don’t know how to do it. Strangely enough, when put this way, they admitted that that’s exactly what they had been doing. Refusing to Serve because of their own fears and prejudices. There are so many business owners I meet who are in the same situation.


When you hide behind ethic, nobody can win an argument with you. But when you hide behind THIS ethic- that sales is bad, not only do you lose but those you could’ve helped also lose.

Life Is A Pot Luck

Famed author and speaker T. Harv Eker tells us that life is a potluck and that we each brought something to this world when we were born. Some of us brought math gifts, others brought music, others brought teaching and so on. Whatever you were brought on this earth for, is being wasted since you are hiding behind false ethics around selling.

Integrity In Selling

I loved James’ definition of Ethical Selling: It’s helping others make informed decisions in their own best interest. What are you doing to inform those you can help? And if you are hiding, what will it take for you to stop doing so to bring more of your gift to the world?

Need more chicken soup for your biz? Follow me on Twitter, friend me on Facebook, watch me on YouTube or connect with me on LinkedIn –and let’s talk

Why I Hate Advertising

hateadsAs a former marketing manager for major consumer brands who, 2 years ago became a solopreneur  consultant, I can safely and honestly say I hate advertising. For small fish like me, it just doesn’t work and I’m happy to tell you why. If you don’t fit the service based small business description, you can stop reading here but if you’re just like me and my clients, then you can thank your lucky stars for this article. I am going to save you lots and lots of money right now.

Why Ads Don’t Work

Of course I’m not talking about all ads and I’m not talking about for every business model. If they didn’t ever work, they wouldn’t exist. Ads don’t work for small service based businesses who depend on selling an expertise which garners a deep level of trust.  For example, when biz owner sisters Jenny and Janice came to me after having spent $5K on a local community paper with 0 returns, they were literally in despair. They were at the end of their marketing budget for the WHOLE year and hadn’t a single client to show for having blown their entire wad on this one vehicle. If you sell your brain power in any way, think twice about spending money on a mass machine that isn’t laser niched, that doesn’t give you the opportunity to showcase your expertise or personality.

When Does It Make Sense

I’m a huge proponent of getting in front of your ideal clients as a mass audience to intercept them to get leads. I would rather you spend your money at targeted trade shows, speaking in front of your target leads and networking with them frequently instead of spending ad dollars. However, the only time advertising for small businesses makes sense to me is if there are 3 critical elements present:

1. Close to 100% of the consumers of the ad are your ideal client targets. If the readers are not your ideal target clients, you might as well just put the money you’re spending down the garbage disposal grinder.

2. You talk about your clients’ pain and use stats about why it’s such a huge problem for everyone and how you can help

3. You tell your ‘why’, a story that is deeply personal and meaningful about why you do what you do.

Adding a compelling visual of human emotion and a catchy title doesn’t hurt either.

So now that you’re on board with why you need to be positioning yourself as an expert by blogging, speaking and meeting other humans one handshake at a time, you no longer ever need to spend a single dime hoping a mere ad will do the heavy lifting for you.

Need more chicken soup for your biz? Follow me on Twitter, friend me on Facebook, watch me on YouTube or connect with me on LinkedIn –and let’s talk

Project a Successful Image: 7 Ways

In my world of marketing my own business, image is everything. It is the packaging to your product. It is the first impression and sometimes only impression someone will have of your business. Projecting a successful one takes some planning. Check out these tips below:

1. Look Good for Any Occasion

Always dress one notch higher than what’s expected. If dress is business casual, put on a suit.

2. Write and Speak Correctly

Improve your grammar, spelling, and especially, your diction. If English is your second language, you’ll need to work harder.

3. Master the Art of Intelligent Conversation

Be up on current events. Be a lifelong learner. Take courses, read books, listen to interesting pod-casts.

4. Be Charitable

Give your time, energy, and wisdom to people around you as well as those in dire need.

5. Be Organized

You are judged on little things like timely response to messages and email. Showing up late disrespects others and makes you look careless or worse, indifferent.

6. Make People Feel Important

When face-to-face, have a firm handshake, make eye contact, and show respect by being present.

7. Spend Time with Successful People

Build a circle of people you respect and admire, and you too will be respected and admired by the people important to you.

via Project a Successful Image: 7 Ways.

At the end of the day, as the song goes: All you need is love. Love for yourself, respect for others and for how you treat them and yourself. My favorite author Robert Holden says “if your definition of success doesn’t have the word love in it, then you need a new definition” and I couldn’t agree more.

Need more chicken soup for your biz? Follow me on Twitter, friend me on Facebook or connect with me on LinkedIn –and let’s talk!

How Smart Companies Use PR to Get the Word Out

English: WRAL-TV reporter Adam Owens in Chapel...

English: WRAL-TV reporter Adam Owens in Chapel Hill, NC. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s pretty common knowledge that PR is the cheapest way for small businesses to market themselves. All it takes is spinning an interesting and timely story to the right media outlet whose audience is interested in your story. Here are some more tips to mesmerize masses of people with your message in the most inexpensive way.

1. No one cares about your story.Media is interested in one thing: the effect of your product. The lives that have been changed or made better by your company and your product.

2. PR masters don’t write stories about themselves. They write stories about their customers.

3. Here’s a powerful PR example. A story about a new website that sells discount airline tickets is not very interesting to many reporters, or their readers. But a story about two long, lost twins who attended a family reunion and finally met again is good reading. And the fact that those twins mention that they were only able to get to the reunion because the then-new website Priceline.com (which I co-founded) made the trip affordable to them is a great sidenote.

via How Smart Companies Use PR to Get the Word Out.

Having a clear vision of your brand voice, your niche and your audiences pain points, you will be armed to charm the headsets off any interviewer and get your story across.

Remember, it’s always about stories. Good ones, bad ones but always those that evoke deep emotion. Get out there and get your own free marketing. I can’t wait to hear your story.

Need more chicken soup for your biz? Follow me on Twitter, friend me on Facebook or connect with me on LinkedIn –and let’s talk!

Suck At Keeping Your Word? You Could Be Losing Customers

Trekkie as a Borg

Trekkie as a Borg (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am not a Trekkie (although I’m married to one) and yet somehow I’ve coined the phrase “Say-Do Continuum” in observing my fellow humans. The Say-Do Continuum is a phenomenon when a person actually does something as he promises to (Do) and tells you (Say) what he’ll do truthfully at all times. Basically it’s someone who keeps his or her promises.

I looked for this simple quality in my mate, I cherish it in my friends and most of all, I actively seek clients who have the Say-Do Continuum. You can bet that your clients are also judging you by the same yardstick. Here are a few things to look out for:

Can’t keep a promise?

If you’re often cancelling dates (no matter with whom, your mom, bff or potential client), you rarely deliver something when you promise it, you forget promised introductions to your networks or you find it much easier to disappoint and ask for forgiveness rather than to say ‘no’, then– you my friend suck at the Say-Do Continuum.

Get a mirror

My first question to someone who sucks at the Continuum is whether they’re even aware of this problem and its consequences.  Sometimes people need a figurative (and sometimes literal) mirror to see that this is a pattern and a problem. Continue reading