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I have a new client, Andy. He is my ideal client because of only 1 thing–he is fearless.  In our first meeting, I gave him a laundry list of a million things to do. Most of them were against his nature, uncomfortable and never before tried things. Things like creating his own video and changing his website and picking a specific niche and cold calling strangers and setting up a webinar and the list goes on and on and on. Well, he had it all done in less than a week.

Here’s his first ever call prep form for which he has given me permission to share (call prep form is something clients fill out before each coaching call together). I remind you that the below was sent after only our first 1 hour session together!!

NAME: Andy McMullan                                      DATE: Feb 9 2012

1)                   What have I accomplished since our last call? (What are my “Wins”!)?

1.       I got 150+ views of the video that I created

2.       Best traffic on the site since shutting down the ads

3.       2 phone calls showing interest in the program, one committed to the group and to helping spread the word.

4.       Offer from Kerry’s place to run a group.

5.       Created the webinar flyer and started dry-running concepts.

6.       Increased the contact list from 7 to about 30.

7.       Started the Access database that will house all participant information.

2)                   What I didn’t get done but intended to do:

Nothing missed, but there is still much to do!

3)                   What I agree/promise to do in my next call:

If it’s not clear already, you have my full attention and I promise to use that attention to its fullest potential.

4)                   Anything else?

I’m loving every minute of it!

Andy’s results are clear. He sold 1 out of the 4 spots he targeted for his program in less than a week.  Action works. Why is Andy so fearless? I’m not sure really…It could be that he has overcome adversities as a child (read about him here www.goodgamers.ca ) or it could be that he is still very young (I’m guessing here). Youth might explain why he’s more tech savvy but that doesn’t explain the ease of cold calls. So I’m just going to have to go with that he was born that way.

I have other clients who are afraid and in smaller steps, they’re making their way to getting their businesses in front of their ideal clients. I don’t want to belittle their efforts. Then of course, I have clients who simply quit with a multitude of excuses about why they don’t feel comfortable with the hard things I’m asking them to do.  I do not judge any of them.  But I do have to take my hat off in wonder when I see fearlessness of the kind demonstrated so well by Andy. I hope reading about him will rub off on you and get you to become like him so that you can reach your goals sooner.

With kindness as always,

Chala

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Audre Lorde (Photo credit: K. Kendall)

Every Monday, I drop off my 2 year old at a nursery play program for speech delayed toddlers (which he is). He screams and cries even before we get there and it is excruciating to take him there and to let him go for 2 hours while I wait outside the door, hearing his cries.

The third time this happened, I asked the director of the program why I should continue to put both my son and I through this weekly torture. She smiled and gently said “you are giving him a gift by bringing him here. Here, he learns how to adapt and be more sociable. This is a strength for him and only you can help him get that.” She then suggested that I move to a waiting area on another floor to avoid hearing the screaming.

I installed myself there in trepidation and looked up on the wall as I was waiting. A picture of an African American woman’s face was on the poster with this quote:

When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.
Audre Lorde- author, poet, human rights activist in the ‘50s

And wow, did that ever bring it all together for me. I am constantly thinking about my clients and the hard things I ask them to do each and every day. Like public speaking in front of people, like asking for the sale, like changing their sales strategy. I know it’s as excruciatingly difficult for them as leaving my son screaming for 2 hours every week.

But I also know that my clients were born with a gift that only they can give to the world in their own unique way and by letting their fears keep them back, they are not able to realize their vision of serving others.

So I ask you, the small business owner to look at what you’ve been afraid of doing and I ask you to dare to be powerful in the service of your vision-whatever that might mean for you.

With kindness as always,
Chala

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Experiencing High Anxiety when you think about picking a Niche? What exactly is Niche-Phobia, you ask? It’s when you start sweating from every orifice once someone tells you that to get more clients, you need to market to one specific client group (e.g. overworked IT professionals) and offer only one product or service (e.g. Work-life balance coaching). Sound familiar?
The concept of niching is very well-known and highly touted by not just me (see my previous post on this http://coachtactics.com/2011/10/14/e-zine-volume7-%e2%80%9cwhat-exactly-is-it-that-you-do%e2%80%9d/ ) but by all business and marketing experts.
So why is it that I run across Niche-Phobia (coined so cleverly by a very smart client of mine this week) as almost the biggest problem of start-ups?
Here are some of my thoughts on this…

I can offer more
My client Nancy was a sales rep at a community newspaper. She had a quota to sell 35 different products ranging from regular ad space to sponsorships to special events. Do you think she took kindly to being told to pick only one type of customer to target and to speak about only 1 of those 35 products as our first step to getting her more clients? She thought I was crazy! Soon enough, she found out for herself that confused minds don’t buy. When she niched herself properly and in a few months became known as the go-to gal for car dealerships in Oakville to run special promotions on-line, she found her sales going up for ALL of her 35 products.

I’m no expert!
Richard, a highly intelligent owner of an ad agency refused to pick a niche even though he was keenly interested in the environment and knew of ways that his business could offer green products. I was thrilled with the discovery of his hobbyhorse because Richard clearly knew so much about and had such a passion for everything recycled. Richard wasn’t so sure however, no matter how long we discussed it and how much we talked about how to close his perceived gap to become an ‘expert’ in the environmental niche, he never felt good enough to call himself a ‘green’ ad agency. Years later after we’d ended our work together; I got a delighted call from Richard. After all that time rejecting to niche in a green positioning, because of a few things we’d changed on his website and his own lifelong involvement in all things green, Richard had been hired by an environmental paper company as a brand ambassador based on their belief that he was an expert in the field! I had to laugh at that one. Life is funny indeed and niching works!

I will starve
Feeding into the Niche-Phobia here is the thought that only 1 target group and 1 type of service or product sale of that single target group won’t pay the bills. This just isn’t so. Picking specifically what type of people you will be helping will REDUCE your confusion and INCREASE the effectiveness of your marketing. Do you have the resources or even the energy to invest in 2 different industry trade shows? Are you strong enough to network with several different professions consistently and simultaneously so that they’ll get to know, like and trust you? The truth is that without a clear decision on who you help and what you offer, you will end up confusing your audience. Remember, a confused audience doesn’t buy. Someone who is crystal clear on who they help and what they do to help will be much more attractive to your competitor who did bit the bullet and made the tough decision on how to niche.
More to the point, I am not saying you can’t sell more than just 1 thing to more than 1 group of people. I’m suggesting that you pick 1 of each to just start with and just get out there. After all, if you don’t know who specifically you want to sell to, how will you know where to go to find them?

Light at the end of the tunnel
I’ve been teaching my clients to niche for a good decade. Ironically, I only felt Niche-Phobia once I left my day job and launched my business full-time 6 months ago. I found myself paralysed by indecision about whether I should pursue Leadership coaching or Brand Coaching. I was equally qualified and passionate about both niches. After doing 15 talks to hundreds of people about Leadership in the past 5 months, I found to my astonishment that all the clients I was getting were for Brand Coaching regardless of how or why they met me. My niche found me!
Now as I speak and market to small business owners in helping them to brand their businesses, my only advice is don’t let niche-phobia paralyse you. Regardless of what you do or who you serve, get out there and get what I call “Human Face Time” meaning network, meet old colleagues for coffee and tell them a few things you can offer. Speak at any association about anything you’re passionate about and sooner or later I promise, your niche will find you. I only hope that I can convince you to do it sooner.
With kindness as always,
Chala

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I’m proud to say that things are going very well and want to take a minute to update you.  Just to brag a little, I am also including testimonials from several of my clients who have become ‘raving fans’.  After doing numerous workshops and keynotes in the realm of Leadership Coaching, I was shocked to find that most of my clients were interested in my marketing background and were coming to me for help in branding their businesses to get more clients!

Most recently, I’ve started offering Marketing Small Business workshops called “Attract not Attack…a gentle way to get clients”. The feedback has been fabulous. The processes and principles I speak about in the workshops are the same processes that I use with my one-to-one coaching clients.

Motivated solo and small business owners who are not sure how to even begin to market themselves come to me feeling overwhelmed, frustrated and drained. Helping them to get very clear on their goals and to identify their strengths as they move forward in the direction that is right for them are two of the important pieces that I guide my clients through. One of my goals is to help them get energized, inspired and see new levels of success, and of course the most important thing is that I help them achieve the BIG business goals they have identified. Read the attached page to read about their results.

Oh, and more exciting news! I am offering a FREE ebook on my website, introducing the simple secret of Branding for Expanding (your business that is…)

I am so grateful to you for your support and for your referrals. If you do know of a motivated solo or small business owner who is tired of feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, then tell them about me and let me know about them as well. I would love to get in touch and see if I can help.

Enjoy the freezing cold (but still beautiful) winter!

Chala Dincoy-Flajnik

WHAT MY CLIENTS SAY

Andrea Orozco, President, Kikuchi Strategy and Design

Chala’s coaching helps me to keep focused and on track. The techniques that we develop together are both practical and easy to manage. I love that she doesn’t feed me the answers; I find solutions with her guidance and through focus on what is truly most important, not what seems most important. There is a big difference between the two.

I knew coaching was really working when, due to a conflict in our schedules, Chala and I missed two weeks of communication. In the third week, I realized how little I had accomplished without her – I almost felt like I was moving backward instead of forward!

Chala has a very good understanding of sales and business in general and helps me tremendously in this department. I have increased my sales every single month since I have started working with her as my coach. She is worth every dollar I pay for her services and more!

Karley Gittens, Owner, Gitten Creative

I just wanted to thank you for all the help and encouragement you’ve given me over the last couple of months.  I can honestly say that if I hadn’t gotten the coaching, my experience with running a business and looking after 2 kids would have been very crazy!!

I feel as though I’ve discovered what is really important in my life.  With your help, I’ve learned how to explore and use my available resources to free up time for myself, prioritize and make better decisions.

I now feel more organized, in control and almost stress free on a day-to-day basis! I’m a better person at home and at work (even my husband has noticed a big change.  I’m hopeful that we will work together in the future to expand my business. I know that you would make this a much faster, smoother transition.

Dave Scurr, Sales Representative, Lithocolour

Chala has helped me tremendously in dealing with personal and business challenges. She lets me find answers to my questions and challenges, and won’t let me get away with excuses.

I like that our process of working together is tailor-made for me – we work on my challenges and issues and Chala is able to guide, listen and encourage while respecting my own pace.

Chala’s personal approach to coaching is challenging and rewarding; I feel much more confident and competent in my approach to business now and I really look forward to our coaching sessions every week.

Dominik Loncar, YMCA Employment-North York Employment & Newcomer Services

In 4 years of working as a branding consultant with the YMCA, Chala has helped hundreds of small businesses thrive by giving them a unique way of looking at their business and by helping them to develop a roadmap to success through strong branding strategies.

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Stephen R. Covey

Ever try to coach someone who didn’t trust you? How far did that get? How about when someone you didn’t trust tried to coach you? Felt awful right?

As Stephen Covey says “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the founding principle that holds all relationships.”

When I think about a person who I trust at work, I think about my colleague Michael who I had the pleasure of working with in the same department, leading different divisions of products for 7 long years.

Here are the reasons why I trust him and why anybody who works with you would trust you:

Intention

Not only did Michael and I compete for our boss’ time and the company’s resources for our respective divisions but there were many other possible reasons for conflict. Despite that, I always knew Michael’s intention was to help and collaborate, no matter what the consequence to himself. I knew that Michael would always choose to help make my life easier where possible.

Respect

Whether in personal life or at work, Michael always asked for permission. Permission to talk, to have a meeting, to book the boardroom or to take away another common resource. The respect he had for me was also evident when he listened to my opinions or point of view, even if he didn’t agree with me.

Openness

Michael made himself vulnerable to me by sharing his mistakes and fears. His shortcomings and headaches. I felt that I could do the same with him.

Communication

Michael spoke to me always from a neutral, non judgemental stance. I felt safe with him and still do to this day, no matter what the topic of discussion is.

Trust is the culmination of these factors I’ve outlined above and even though Michael and I never coached one another, he is my shining example of how to build trust in a relationship.

Take the steps now to move your relationships towards trust and feel the power of transforming your results through higher trust.

With kindness as always,

Chala

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“We fire all our low 16%” laughingly said a friend who owns a successful mid sized company. I knew what he meant because some work cultures have little resources to waste on investing in low performers to get them to become average. Don’t you wish you worked for him?

I’ve long been singing the praises of the use of coaching skills to develop leaders such as intentional listening, questioning and acknowledging skills but what do we use for those average and low performers?

In my workshops, I teach managers about a tool called DIRECT (a pretty acronym for an ugly conversation). DIRECT is used in performance management conversations where an expectation is not being met and needs to change.

I’ll take you through an example to demonstrate:

D-I-R-E-C-T is made up of the following components:

D-DATA

This is where you tell them what’s wrong. “Alice, you’re coming in late every morning”

I-IMPACT

Summarize the impact to the organization, team or individual. “Your tardiness is causing our department to deliver projects past deadlines”

R-REQUIREMENT

Outline the performance expectations. “I expect you here at 9 here every day”

E-EXPLORE

Now this is where the coaching comes in and you hand them the job of creating a solution. “What can you do to get here on time?”, “What’s stopping you?”, “What resources do you have to get over this barrier?” etc etc.

C-COMMITMENT

Review expectations and gain commitment to the action plan with a confirmed timeframe. “So you think if your wife drops off the kids at school, you’ll be here by 9″?

T-TRACK

Monitor commitment to the action plan and track accountability. “I’d like to see a weekly status report on the time you get in for the next 2 months”

One last tip, remember to always have the positive intention of developing and moving your employees forward, even if it’s out of that awful ‘low’ end of the bell curve.

With kindness as always,

Chala

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In my world, YES. Within the context of being a “coach manager” (someone who not only allows others to come up with the solutions but actually facilitates others in creating the solution) you can actually do more harm than good if you ask a bad question.

What’s a bad question?

In one lunch and learn about this topic, when I asked the audience of managers “what question do you generally ask your staff?” one woman proudly said “I ask them if they understand what I want them to do and have them repeat it back to me.” I cringed deep inside because clearly I had my work cut out for me in explaining what type of question would allow her staff to excel and develop.

Imagine riding in a convertible car. You can feel the rain on your face or the sunshine if you’re lucky. You can let the wind play with your hair (if you have enough of it) and smell the skunk that just went by. This is what asking a good question, an open-ended question feels like. It lets in data and feelings that a closed ended (a regular car in the above analogy for those who haven’t had their cereal this morning) would never grant you access to.

What’s an open ended question?

Seems the answer would be intuitive, I guarantee you it’s not. An open ended good question has more than 2 possible answers. Any question that offers a limitless number of responses, I’m sure you can agree is open ended. Who, what, how are questions that are generally great for discovering information and are definitely open ended. However, any question starting with a would, should, could is not so great and is usually the beginning of a closed ended question where you’re trying to exert your answer on someone else. Bad bad manager you…

Try it on and see. Imagine your assistant is calling you and would like to know how to deal with a conflict she’s having with the receptionist (horrors!). Would it develop her skills in taking on the challenge and developing the solution herself if you were to ask “what do you think we should do about this?” versus asking “shouldn’t you be talking to her directly about this?”

In the first question, you’re honoring her in showing her that you trust her to deal with what you privately consider a time waster for you and getting her to deal with it versus giving her the solution. What happens then if your solution backfires? It’s going to be placed squarely on your shoulders and gives no accountability to your assistant who is herself embroiled in this conflict.

In coaching, questioning is the most delicate of art forms. The panel of judges who certifies a coach can instantly fail the student for asking leading and closed ended questions that try to lead the coachee to the coach’s own agenda and solution. Why should a manager get off scott free?

It is the hardest thing in the world to overcome your lifelong training to offer advice and solutions to someone’s problem who’s trusted you enough to come to you with it.

In my workshops when we do group exercises to practice coaching. I watch managers almost start to formulate their solution to the coachee’s problem in the first minute of the coaching simulation. Despite dire instructions and a list of scripted open ended questions in their hands, they are still providing answers through ‘should, could and would’ questions. It’s enough to want to hit your head on the boardroom table!

Why is it so hard to stop giving solutions?

For one thing, you’ve been paid all your life to do it. For another, it’s the way the human mind works, to try with all your being to come up with an answer when asked a question. Lastly of course is the fact that it’s quicker and easier because we don’t like to think that we don’t have all the right answers (even when we’re clueless). It takes monumental effort and self insight to take a step back and to help and allow others to come up with their own answers when confronted with an issue.

What if they give you the wrong answer?

When my client Nick (not his real name) told me that he was quitting his job to start a speed dating business, I couldn’t tell him that I thought it would end up with him on lonely street with a dime left in his pocket (even though I was dying to). As his coach, I simply made sure that he was aware of the consequences and the full situation at hand before pulling the trigger on his day job. Luckily through our work together, he realized that the speed dating business wasn’t going to get him a girlfriend like Jennifer Garner or be as lucrative as he’d imagined and together we reframed his next steps.

The point is that even though Nick did come up with the wrong answer to his life’s unfulfilled desires and despite the fact that I knew that this was the wrong answer with every fiber of my being, as a coach the only thing I could do was to help him discover more about the full scope of his solution and to offer up my 2 cents simply as a non judgmental perspective.

As I mentioned before, change is the hardest thing to achieve as human beings because we’re complex and touchy creatures. Take a small step in asking just one open ended question with everyone you speak to on the next day and one more on the next day and so on until you’re a proud card carrying member of the so called enlightened “coach-manager” club.

With kindness as always,

Chala

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When terrorist planes hit the twin towers on September 11, one man gained international attention and acclaim for his leadership. Struggling at a 36% in approval ratings for his rigid, dictatorial style of management, Rudy Giuliani was losing popularity fast prior to 9/11. Reacting in his typical control and command style of leadership during what was one of the most catastrophic crises in history; Giuliani’s approval rating soared to 79% among New York City voters. Time magazine named him its Person of the Year for 2001 and he was given an honorary knighthood by Her Majesty Queen Elisabeth II in 2002.*

How could a management style that lost Giuliani favour and elections garner him hero status after a tragic event? The answer is simple…

The ‘dictate’ style of ‘telling’ leadership (ie. Telling people what to do and how to do it) has a time and a place where it’s not only appropriate but absolutely necessary. Namely, during crises when people are shell shocked, immobilized and anxious. When creativity and uncertainty has no room. Where time is of essence. These are the hallmarks of the ‘telling’ style of leadership.

When is it ok to ‘tell’?

“Kelly didn’t know the first thing about what the job was about. She was also clueless about what was expected of her. She could hardly wait until the meeting with her boss to ask him.

When there’s a knowledge or skill gap, it is definitely appropriate for a manager to tell his staff what needs to be done, why and how.

Another instance where it’s ok to ‘tell’ is if legal and safety issues are involved and no room for interpretation exists.

Last but not least, when there’s a crisis or an urgent situation such as 9/11, there is no time to ask opinions on how to solve the problem or what to do next. Here, the onus is on the manager to tell the team what to do.

After all, have you ever heard of a heart surgeon operating on an emergency surgery asking his nurses what to do next? I wouldn’t want to be that patient either.

When is it ok to ‘ask’?

I call the ‘asking ‘style of management communicating because ultimately it’s a two way dialogue where ‘tell’ is really only one way and hence deserves the synonym of ‘dictate’.

“What are some things we can do to solve this Bob?” is a question many managers don’t understand the power of. The act of ‘asking’ instead of ‘telling’ under the right circumstances is a gift that a manager can give to develop her staff. It says “I trust you to have the solutions somewhere inside of you”. It uncovers the things their team has already done or thought of doing on their own.

The act of ‘asking’ can generate a multitude of possibilities that our own overworked brain could never in a million years have come up with.

‘Asking’ garners buy-in from your team since the solution comes from them. This takes the pressure off of you to always have the answer and frees you up since your team isn’t coming to you for all solutions anymore.

A story of ‘telling’

Once upon a time, I was on a team where there was a conflict between myself and another team member. I regret so much that there was never a single day where our team leader asked us how to resolve it. And so on it went, for many years and through many projects causing loss of engagement, productivity and suffering for all involved.

As you can see, there are appropriate times to both ‘communicate’ and to ‘dictate’ as a manager. The true test of enlightened leadership is to know when to do which and to do it well.

In the seminars that I do and the 20 years that I’ve spent working in corporations, 95% of the time, I run into ‘dictate’ managers simply because it’s what they’ve been paid all their lives to be—solution providers who come up with the answer.

So if you’ve been one of those managers, take a walk on the wild side and live in the ‘communicate’ world for just a day or even an hour. Let me show you how it’s done…stay tuned.

With kindness as always,

Chala

*Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rudy_Giuliani

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Time Starvation:

“You’re fired!” has ceased to be just a popular realty show tagline and has been echoing around boardrooms across the world. As a result, those souls left behind are shouldering the extra work. Since most people don’t one day wake up and say “I’ve got more work than ever, so I’m going to change the way I work, the way I look at things and the way I communicate”, they end up being time starved and exhausted. The new corporate soldier doesn’t realize that not only has the landscape changed even the war is different.

Filler Talk

When was the last time you asked people you manage what their life’s greatest wish was? Do you even know the answer to that question for yourself? When did “how are you?” become a greeting that expected no serious answer in return? We take shelter in the pretense that it’s too personal and politically incorrect to ask such things of each other. As a result the deeper conversations are left off for what I call “filler talk”–empty, meaningless ways to communicate without really saying anything of substance.

The Knee Jerk Response

Most scuba students have trouble sinking to the bottom of the ocean when they’re first learning how to dive. When I was a newbie treading water and preparing to descend, my instructor (who should’ve known better) went down ahead of me and thinking to help, pulled me down by my legs under the water. Little did she know that I hadn’t inserted my regulator in my mouth and swallowed so much water that I thought I was going to drown! It was her knee jerk reaction to a problem she thought she’d seen before, to provide a quick solution to ‘help’ me.

Many managers are unfortunately in the same boat. They’ve been paid all their working lives to provide the solution. They are clueless about how to stop, take a step back, ask the people they manage to think of the true root of the issue and to work out a solution from multiple sources for a more efficient and effective result.

What’s the magic answer?

About 10 years ago, I discovered a different kind of consultant who called herself a ‘personal coach’. I had no idea what she did but I had heard such great things about working with her that I hired her to help me launch my own consulting business. Through a process called ‘the coaching conversation’, she made all my dreams come true in 1 short year. I myself became a certified coach and now help my clients use this process with their own teams to get better results.

Coaching is based on one founding principle: That all humans are creative and resourceful and hold the answers to any question they have to face. Imagine the power of that belief and imagine what it would do if applied to the people you manage or work with!

When a manager becomes a “Coach Manager”, with a few simple conversations, his staff can start to:

• Zone in on the true issues behind the problems
• Come up with viable solutions to surmount the issue quicker on their own
• Identify potential barriers to success earlier
• Think of resources to overcome barriers automatically
• Set up action steps with a timeline to get to the goal faster

What’s so great about this communication process? Well for one thing, it develops the people who work for you—pretty much without you doing anything more than applying the Coaching Conversation on a regular basis. The other is that your team gets more efficient and effective at handling unforeseen or chronic problems. Being able to communicate more effectively simply means an easier and more pleasurable life for all involved.

The Coaching Conversation in Action

“Chala, we’ve got a problem!” said a panicked Matt from shipping. “The studio won’t accept the shipment until 7pm since nobody will be there to pick it up, what should I do?” Had I not been a coach as well as a marketing manager at that moment, I could’ve offered at least 3 solutions of my own. Instead, I simply asked “what do you recommend?” There was a shocked silence on the phone, then in a happy voice Matt stated “I can call another courier, why didn’t I think of that?!” Sure enough, the problem was solved.

What is possible for you and your team if you learn a new way to talk to them? You will be pleasantly stunned that becoming a Coach Manager changes everyone and everything around you.

I will be sharing this Coach Manager Communication process in steps with you in the coming e-zines.

Until then, keep an open mind and an open door. Believe in the power of the spoken word to your fellow human beings in work and in life.

With kindness as always,

Chala