Category Archives: Leadership

Coaching without trust

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Professor Stephen R. Covey

Stephen R. Covey

Ever try to coach someone who didn’t trust you? How far did that get? How about when someone you didn’t trust tried to coach you? Felt awful right?

As Stephen Covey says “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the founding principle that holds all relationships.”

When I think about a person who I trust at work, I think about my colleague Michael who I had the pleasure of working with in the same department, leading different divisions of products for 7 long years.

Here are the reasons why I trust him and why anybody who works with you would trust you: Continue reading →

How to have the “ugly” performance conversation

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Do you remember something called the ‘Bell Curve’ from your school days? When applied to work performance, it basically means that most people (68%) are in the middle and have average quality of work while 16% are high performers and naturally the other 16% are low performers.

“We fire all our low 16%” laughingly said a friend who owns a successful mid sized company. I knew what he meant because some work cultures have little resources to waste on investing in low performers to get them to become average. Don’t you wish you worked for him?

I’ve long been singing the praises of the use of coaching skills to develop leaders such as intentional listening, questioning and acknowledging skills but what do we use for those average and low performers?

In my workshops, I teach managers about a tool called DIRECT (a pretty acronym for an ugly conversation). DIRECT is used in performance management conversations where an expectation is not being met and needs to change. Continue reading →

Is there such a thing as a “bad question”?

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Circle-no-questions

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In my world, YES. Within the context of being a “coach manager” (someone who not only allows others to come up with the solutions but actually facilitates others in creating the solution) you can actually do more harm than good if you ask a bad question.

What’s a bad question?

In one lunch and learn about this topic, when I asked the audience of managers “what question do you generally ask your staff?” one woman proudly said “I ask them if they understand what I want them to do and have them repeat it back to me.” I cringed deep inside because clearly I had my work cut out for me in explaining what type of question would allow her staff to excel and develop.

Imagine riding in a convertible car. You can feel the rain on your face or the sunshine if you’re lucky. You can let the wind play with your hair (if you have enough of it) and smell the skunk that just went by. This is what asking a good question, an open-ended question feels like. It lets in data and feelings that a closed ended (a regular car in the above analogy for those who haven’t had their cereal this morning) would never grant you access to. Continue reading →

Communicate or Dictate?

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Picture of Rudy Giuliani

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When terrorist planes hit the twin towers on September 11, one man gained international attention and acclaim for his leadership. Struggling at a 36% in approval ratings for his rigid, dictatorial style of management, Rudy Giuliani was losing popularity fast prior to 9/11. Reacting in his typical control and command style of leadership during what was one of the most catastrophic crises in history; Giuliani’s approval rating soared to 79% among New York City voters. Time magazine named him its Person of the Year for 2001 and he was given an honorary knighthood by Her Majesty Queen Elisabeth II in 2002.*

How could a management style that lost Giuliani favour and elections garner him hero status after a tragic event? The answer is simple…

The ‘dictate’ style of ‘telling’ leadership (ie. Telling people what to do and how to do it) has a time and a place where it’s not only appropriate but absolutely necessary. Namely, during crises when people are shell shocked, immobilized and anxious. When creativity and uncertainty has no room. Where time is of essence. These are the hallmarks of the ‘telling’ style of leadership. Continue reading →

Is Your Team Balanced?

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Ying and Yang. Male and Female. Good and Bad. The whole world is made up of just the right amount of both. When that balance is lost, so are we. Some examples of balance gone awry are:

  • Female infanticide due to China’s one child law has caused villages of single young men who are depressed.
  • The richest nations in the world are dying of obesity while the poorest are dying of lack of food.

You don’t need me to tell you that we need balance in life and in the world. Therefore it may also come as no surprise to you that balance is also needed in team dynamics.

The best team dynamics exist when what I call both the ‘hard’ and ‘soft’ factors are present at the same time and place.
Some ‘hard’ factors in a team are:

  • clear team leadership,
  • clear goals, roles, decision making,
  • alignment
  • the presence of accountability.

The ‘soft’ are things like:

  • trust,
  • respect,
  • intimacy,
  • communication
  • fun.

To see if I’m telling you the truth, just ask yourself, “What was the most productive or fun team that I ever worked with?” Continue reading →