Doing the hard thing to grow your small business

Posted on February 3, 2012 by chaladincoy

Audre Lorde (Photo credit: K. Kendall)

Every Monday, I drop off my 2 year old at a nursery play program for speech delayed toddlers (which he is). He screams and cries even before we get there and it is excruciating to take him there and to let him go for 2 hours while I wait outside the door, hearing his cries.

The third time this happened, I asked the director of the program why I should continue to put both my son and I through this weekly torture. She smiled and gently said “you are giving him a gift by bringing him here. Here, he learns how to adapt and be more sociable. This is a strength for him and only you can help him get that.” She then suggested that I move to a waiting area on another floor to avoid hearing the screaming.

I installed myself there in trepidation and looked up on the wall as I was waiting. A picture of an African American woman’s face was on the poster with this quote:

When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.
Audre Lorde- author, poet, human rights activist in the ‘50s

And wow, did that ever bring it all together for me. I am constantly thinking about my clients and the hard things I ask them to do each and every day. Like public speaking in front of people, like asking for the sale, like changing their sales strategy. I know it’s as excruciatingly difficult for them as leaving my son screaming for 2 hours every week.

But I also know that my clients were born with a gift that only they can give to the world in their own unique way and by letting their fears keep them back, they are not able to realize their vision of serving others.

So I ask you, the small business owner to look at what you’ve been afraid of doing and I ask you to dare to be powerful in the service of your vision-whatever that might mean for you.

With kindness as always,
Chala

Chala update 2012 (coachtactics.com)
Short Analysis of Audrey Lorde’s Coal (1l1l.wordpress.com)
From Small-time Blogger to Professional Paid Speaker: My Journey (problogger.net)

Coaching without trust

Posted on November 30, 2011 by chaladincoy

Stephen R. Covey

Ever try to coach someone who didn’t trust you? How far did that get? How about when someone you didn’t trust tried to coach you? Felt awful right?

As Stephen Covey says “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the founding principle that holds all relationships.”

When I think about a person who I trust at work, I think about my colleague Michael who I had the pleasure of working with in the same department, leading different divisions of products for 7 long years.

Here are the reasons why I trust him and why anybody who works with you would trust you: Continue reading →

How to have the “ugly” performance conversation

Posted on November 1, 2011 by chaladincoy

Do you remember something called the ‘Bell Curve’ from your school days? When applied to work performance, it basically means that most people (68%) are in the middle and have average quality of work while 16% are high performers and naturally the other 16% are low performers.

“We fire all our low 16%” laughingly said a friend who owns a successful mid sized company. I knew what he meant because some work cultures have little resources to waste on investing in low performers to get them to become average. Don’t you wish you worked for him?

I’ve long been singing the praises of the use of coaching skills to develop leaders such as intentional listening, questioning and acknowledging skills but what do we use for those average and low performers?

In my workshops, I teach managers about a tool called DIRECT (a pretty acronym for an ugly conversation). DIRECT is used in performance management conversations where an expectation is not being met and needs to change. Continue reading →

Is there such a thing as a “bad question”?

Posted on November 1, 2011 by chaladincoy

Image via Wikipedia

In my world, YES. Within the context of being a “coach manager” (someone who not only allows others to come up with the solutions but actually facilitates others in creating the solution) you can actually do more harm than good if you ask a bad question.

What’s a bad question?

In one lunch and learn about this topic, when I asked the audience of managers “what question do you generally ask your staff?” one woman proudly said “I ask them if they understand what I want them to do and have them repeat it back to me.” I cringed deep inside because clearly I had my work cut out for me in explaining what type of question would allow her staff to excel and develop.

Imagine riding in a convertible car. You can feel the rain on your face or the sunshine if you’re lucky. You can let the wind play with your hair (if you have enough of it) and smell the skunk that just went by. This is what asking a good question, an open-ended question feels like. It lets in data and feelings that a closed ended (a regular car in the above analogy for those who haven’t had their cereal this morning) would never grant you access to. Continue reading →

Communicate or Dictate?

Posted on October 14, 2011 by chaladincoy

Image via Wikipedia

When terrorist planes hit the twin towers on September 11, one man gained international attention and acclaim for his leadership. Struggling at a 36% in approval ratings for his rigid, dictatorial style of management, Rudy Giuliani was losing popularity fast prior to 9/11. Reacting in his typical control and command style of leadership during what was one of the most catastrophic crises in history; Giuliani’s approval rating soared to 79% among New York City voters. Time magazine named him its Person of the Year for 2001 and he was given an honorary knighthood by Her Majesty Queen Elisabeth II in 2002.*

How could a management style that lost Giuliani favour and elections garner him hero status after a tragic event? The answer is simple…

The ‘dictate’ style of ‘telling’ leadership (ie. Telling people what to do and how to do it) has a time and a place where it’s not only appropriate but absolutely necessary. Namely, during crises when people are shell shocked, immobilized and anxious. When creativity and uncertainty has no room. Where time is of essence. These are the hallmarks of the ‘telling’ style of leadership. Continue reading →

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